You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
