so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
