So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize