he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
