Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
