Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
