Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
