maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
