Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
