your parents love me but you hate me
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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