sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
