I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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