Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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