i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
