I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
