maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
