so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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