Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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