i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
