I'm really into asian looking animals
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
