At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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