She's JV to your varsity
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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