We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
