And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
