Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
