The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
