I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
