i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
MIDGETS
????
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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