new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
