He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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