To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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