____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
