Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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