I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
