ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
