I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize