Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
nutella sex= disaster
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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