My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
