worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize