"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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