Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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