I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
