Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
