I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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