New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
PANTIES FOUND
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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