sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
