The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
