Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
high people should be assigned attendants
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
