dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
