Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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