That's intense
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize