Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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