We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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