Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize