it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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