you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
