No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
