we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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