what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
