My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
