I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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