just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
