I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
