Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
