I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
