you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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