Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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