Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
